


Meet Me on the Battlefield

by TheSpace_Dragon



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Based on a Tumblr Post, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, im sorry lance, keith protect this boy from me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-09-17 13:26:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9326750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSpace_Dragon/pseuds/TheSpace_Dragon
Summary: On the battlefield, anything can happen. Never turn a blind eye to the possibilities.





	1. Echos and the shots ring out

**Author's Note:**

> Ooookayyy, so this is for my lovely friend Vinni (@koshkavinni on tumblr) who was kind enough to let me write this based off of her angsty comic series. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy my readers.

The mission was so simple. Get in, grab the refugees, get out. Simple.

But anything involving the Galra was anything but _simple_.

The timing was wrong. There wasn’t supposed to be a Galra squadron landing to take the prisoners. There wasn’t supposed to be a battle cruiser orbiting the planet.

_None of this was supposed to happen._

Keith slashed at an oncoming drone. It went down in a shower of sparks. Lance shot a drone coming up behind him. The red paladin shouted his gratitude and moved on to his next target. They were everywhere, no end in sight. Keith took down drone after drone, Lance covering him where he could. It was hard in the small corridor to offer cover fire and not hit your teammate.

Pidge fought her way to them, short circuiting everything that stood in her way. She was lucky that her bayard had that ability. Keith’s arms were burning from cutting robots into pieces; they’ve been fighting for so long.

Shiro and Hunk had taken the refugees to the hangar to get them loaded onto escape pods, leaving Lance, Keith, and Pidge to cover them. The only luck that had come their way was that the base was poorly planned out. There were only two or three hallways leading to the hangar. Pidge had hacked into the base mainframe to lock those hallways down, leading them to deal with one hallway. Downside? Well, now they had only one escape route and they were about to be overwhelmed.

Keith raised his shield. Pidge ducked behind him to catch her breath.

“They just keep coming,” she panted.

Like, seriously. Why would the battle cruiser need this many drones? Weren’t there any real soldiers on that ship?

Just as the thought crossed Keith’s mind, he could hear orders being shouted out behind the newest squadron.

Lance was doing his best to thin their ranks, but the damned hallway…

Laser fire shot passed all of them, forcing them to dodge and move to the walls to evade the worst of it.

“Refugees are on the escape pods!” Shiro announced over the coms.

One less thing to worry about.

“Shiro, we need some backup, there's too many," Keith grunted as more shots pounded against his shield. He had it canted in a way that covered him and Pidge. Lance was a few yards back, hidden behind a truss. Drones were marching down the hallway, they couldn't make it out if they even tried at this point.

Shiro cursed and made a quick comment to Hunk before speaking to the three of them again. “Hunk and I are on our way, hang in there, guys.”

“At this point, that’s all we can do, Shiro!” Lance yelled.

The blue paladin looked over the truss and fired off a volley of shots, taking down the front line of drones closing in on them. The commander at the back caught sight of him and directed the drones fire to his side of the hallway. Lance was pinned down.

Keith leaped into action, drawing away some of the fire. Holding his shield up, he ran towards the drones, swiping his sword at anything within his reach. A flash of green beside him and before he knew it, more drones were exploding.

Laser fire was every, pounding on his shield. They singed the air, the smell of burning ozone filling the air. Keith grit his teeth and fought on. He wouldn’t let this be the end of his team. His sword bounced off a drone and thrust his shield forward, knocking the drone back. It gave him enough time to prepare another swing and he cleaved the drone in half this time.

Shiro’s and Hunk's shouts rang out and a spray of yellow bullets burned their way through the robots next to him. About time backup showed up. Shiro, his arm blazing, ran headlong into the ray, drawing the attention of the Galra that were surrounding Pidge. Hunk was laying down suppressing fire, giving Keith a moment to catch his breath. Lasers were still flying everywhere, ricocheting off the walls.

Keith flurry of shots and an explosion went off behind him, but the fight never stopped. Drones were falling left and right between him and the rest of the team. Everyone was communicating, shouting at one another to move, duck, or to cover them. Hunk’s Gatling gun continued to fire in between the team’s three melee fighters.

The fighting began to find its rhythm, but there was something off. Keith could almost feel it in his bones. Slash, block, step aside, slash again. Yellow bullets filled his pauses. Green sparked in his periphery, and purple sliced its way in front of him. Where was…

_Lance._

Keith turned away from the fight, something that made his whole body scream at him to turn back around. Lance was on his hands and knees, blood dripping off his face. His helmet was thrown aside, cracked and burned.

The explosion.

It was the explosion from moments ago. That’s what happened.

Keith raced to Lance, not even thinking about the fact that his back was exposed. He danced around all the random robot limbs littering the floor and slid on his knees to Lance’s side.

“Lance?” Keith reached out, his hands hovering over Lance’s shoulders.

_“Ungh…”_

Lance was shaking like a leaf, his arms barely supporting himself. He reached a slow hand to his face, smearing blood across his cheeks.

“…Keith…?”

The red paladin leaned forward and cupped Lance’s face, lifting it so he could see.

“Lance…! Oh my God…”

They needed to pull back, there was no way Lance could go on like that. Keith fought his rising panic, taking a deep breath. He couldn’t let Lance see how scared he was for him, that would send him into shock. How the hell was he not in shock already?

“Keith…I…”

“Shh, it’s ok, we’ll get you out, don’t worry,” Keith whispered, just loud enough for both of them to hear. Shit…shit shit shit…

He looked over his shoulder at the battle raging behind him. Pidge and Shiro were hanging on, barely managing to keep the drones back. Lance whimpered, his trembling increasing. They couldn’t wait any longer.

“Shiro! We need to retreat! Lance is hurt!”

The black paladin looked back at them and saw the condition of Lance. He nodded and gave the signal to Hunk to unleash hell on the drones as he and Pidge pulled back.

A grip on his elbow brought Keith’s attention back to Lance.

"Keith…I…" His voice was so quiet, Keith had to lean in to hear him. "…I can't see anything…"

And Keith’s world stopped.

* * *

_Find the art[here.](http://koshkavinni.tumblr.com/post/154982238936/so-a-quick-comic-on-the-beginning-of-that-blind)_


	2. Even on the darkest night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke my own heart writing this... hope you all like!

_"Keith…I…" His voice was so quiet, Keith had to lean in to hear him. "…I can't see anything…"_

Lance reached out, bumping his hand against Keith’s chest plate before grabbing his shoulder. Keith could feel the fear in his friend’s grip, he just had no idea how to comfort him. Not here, not in the middle of a battle.

The rest of the team was holding off the Galra, but they were slowly making their way back towards them. Neither he or Lance could stand to sit here and wait.

Keith picked up Lance’s helmet and shoved it into his chest. “Hold onto this, I’m picking you up.”

Lance latched onto the helmet and reeled back. “You’re going to what?” he squeaked.

Keith didn’t wait for his permission, but scooped the taller paladin into his arms and took off down the hallway. Lance was slightly heavier than what he was used to lifting, but at the moment, Keith could deal with the repercussions later.

He ducked when a stray shot hit the wall next to him. Keith rounded the corner and they were in the hanger. Red was waiting, her presence urging him forward. Through the bond, he could feel the blue lion’s anxiety, her paladin was injured and about to enter another lion. Why couldn’t he come to her she demanded. If Keith had the ability to communicate with Blue, he would, just to reassure her that Lance would be okay. They just had to get him to one of the healing pods.

Climbing up into Red, he set Lance down in the holding bay, just behind the cockpit. Red was smooth in her take off and retreat to the castle, she understood the urgency. Keith began to root around in the compartments, looking for a first-aid kit equivalent. Lance was still bleeding and granted it wasn't much at this point, Keith just couldn't stand seeing…god, why did it have to be his eyes? Lance always held most of his expressions in his eyes. He would try to school his face sometimes, but his dark blue eyes always gave him away. Keith shook his head and finally found the kit, now was not the time.

Kneeling in front of Lance, he pulled out bandages and a bottle with his handwritten note taped to it, labeling it healing cream. He remembered how Coran sat them all down to go over the contents, making them label everything, just in – not the time. Focus. After cleaning up some of Lance’s face, he smeared some of the cream on his hands.

“I’m going to put some of the healing cream on your eyes, ok? Just until we get you to the castle.” They were still a minute or so out.

Lance nodded and Keith gently applied what he had on his hands. Next, he wrapped bandages around Lance's head. The whole time he muttered small apologies whenever Lance winced or hissed in pain, but for the most part is was silent.

Red rumbled, letting Keith know that they were about to land.

“Coran, have a pod ready, Lance is in bad shape." Keith kept a steadying hand on Lance's shoulder, his head was starting to bob; he was fighting to stay awake.

“Right away, Keith!” was their advisor’s quick response.

Red landed, and Keith led Lance out, his arm draped over his shoulder. Lance insisted on walking, even though his legs threatened to give out with every step. Eventually, Keith and Coran got him into a healing pod.

Predicted time: one day.

\-----

The next day, after everyone was patched up from the mission gone wrong, Keith stood in front of Lance’s pod. His body was bruised from the hours of fighting, but he could care less right now. One of them was hurt. Again. It wasn’t like any of them are strangers to the healing pods, each of them had had some time in them, but Lance definitely had the most time logged in them. From throwing himself in front of a bomb for Coran to now this. And they say _he_ was the reckless one. Keith really had the strong urge to get Lance a bubble and lock him in it.

Lance still had the bandages over his eyes, the very ones that Keith gave him in the red lion. Thanks to the healing cream, it hadn’t bled through when they were on their way to the castle. Still, it didn’t settle Keith’s nerves. He felt wound tight, just like the last time Lance was in the pod. At least he hadn't purposefully thrown himself into danger this time…

“Goddammit, Lance,” Keith sighed and crossed his arms, “why are you the one always getting hurt?”

“Sorry, did you say something, Keith?”

Keith whirled around to face Coran, who stood at the console in the middle of the room. He had all Lance’s diagnostics pulled up. If it weren’t all in Altean, Keith would already be looking at it.

“Coran, I…I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Ah, well, to be expected when you are concerned about your fellow teammate.” Coran moved some of the floating holograms around, reading everything intently.

Keith looked down and glanced back at Lance. Without him boasting about how many Galra he took out during the mission, the castle felt like it was missing a vital part of its members. It was too quiet. And Keith normally didn’t mind the quiet, but this silence was tense and thrumming with worry. He could feel how everyone was ready to burst and ask about Lance.

Keith placed a hand lightly on the glass enclosure. The team needed Lance. He held them together, there to crack a joke to lighten the mood, there to provide much-needed tactics for a mission. He was there to get Keith out of his head while training, so he didn't hurt himself. Lance was there to make sure everyone was okay. _He_ needed Lance.

“Coran, how’s it looking?” Keith looked over his shoulder. “Will Lance be okay?”

Coran stopped what he was doing, hands still in the air. Slowly he lowered them to rest on the console.

“I’m afraid that it isn’t good.” His voice was soft, and his eyes sad.

The pod started to beep, the thawing process began.

Keith felt his breath hitch. Coran wasn’t saying what he thought he was saying, no, Lance couldn’t…

The Altean turned off the console and moved his gaze to Lance’s pod.

“The pods can only heal so much…” he was saying, but Keith could barely hear him over his rising panic. There was no way…Lance…

“…and the eyes are a delicate thing…”

The glass dematerialized with a soft hiss, small clouds of fog rushing out. Keith turned back to Lance in time to catch him.

“Lance!”

The other boy had one hand on the edge of the pod and the other wrapped around Keith for support. He was shaking. Keith felt his heart start to break.

“I’m sorry, but Lance will no longer have his sight,” Coran finished.

Lance’s trembling increased and a broken sob escaped him. Keith felt his own tears build and he closed his eyes to fight them off. He had to be strong, strong for Lance. Lance needed him right now, he could tell by the way his hand clawed at the back of his jacket.

Keith held Lance close as he broke down, tears falling down his face, and sobs racking his frame.

In this moment, Keith was reminded of the brutality of war.

* * *

_Part two of the comic[here](http://koshkavinni.tumblr.com/post/155120094346/whoops-here-it-is-i-just-wanted-to-get-this-out)._


	3. Like friends, they cover me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh boy, y'all saw season 2 right?? Like wow, so much to process with that. That being said, the timeline on this fic takes place before season 2, so there will be no spoilers here (unless Vinni does something to change that)
> 
> Enjoy the 3rd chapter!! :)

_Keith held Lance close as he broke down, tears falling down his face, and sobs racking his frame._

Keith took Lance back to his room as soon as Coran gave him the all clear. When Lance had opened his eyes on reflex, Keith flinched back. His eyes…the ocean blue that they had been was now the color of ash. Scar tissue webbed across most of Lance's eyes. It was clear that he was never going to be able to see again. Even if they could somehow remove the scar tissue, the nerves were beyond repair, or there wasn't enough there for the pods to rebuild. Lance didn't keep his eyes open long, he must have felt the way Keith suddenly removed his hand from his back or heard the shocked gasp that escaped him before he even realized it. His shoulders sagged slightly, and his eyes moved involuntarily underneath his eyelids. Lance looked like he had resigned himself to his fate and Keith wanted nothing more than to reassure him.

It was going to be a long recovery process for the whole team.

The rest of team Voltron had gathered in the dining area. Every one of them looked grim and ready to give up. Hunk was fighting back tears, sitting next to Pidge who had her hands folded over each other and covering her mouth. Shiro sat next to Allura, he looked the most serious. Keith sat at the end of the table, not even bothering with a seat, though. He was perched on the edge of the table. It made for an easy get away if he wanted to go check on Lance.

Even if Lance was just sleeping, Keith felt like he shouldn’t be left alone. He just lost his sight, that wasn’t something one got used to just over the course of a few hours.

“We should be safe from Zarkon or the Galra for the time being,” Allura was saying. “We are many galaxies away from them and on the other side of a galactic storm that should shield us from their sensors.”

“Will it be enough?” Shiro asked.

Keith fixed Shiro with a glare. He already knew where this was going and it wasn’t going to be an easy conversation.

Hunk looked over at Shiro too. “Enough for what?”

The black paladin sighed and ran a hand through his hair before leaning his elbows on the table. “This isn’t an ideal situation; it never was considering the circumstance but…I don’t know what we’ll do about Voltron with Lance unable to fight.”

Keith tightened his grip on his jacket. They were jumping to the worst possible solution, Lance hadn’t even been out of the healing pod for a whole day, and they were already thinking of replacing him?

"He won't be able to fight…" Pidge said slowly. She wouldn't look at anyone while she spoke. "He's basically a sitting duck now unless there's some way to fix his eyesight."

Keith grit his teeth and lowered his gaze to the table. Fixing Lance’s eyesight was a dream, Coran was certain that his pupils and lenses were destroyed in the blast. And from what Keith could see from the brief moment Lance had opened his eyes…it looked like Lance was lucky to have his eyes still intact.

Conversation picked up. Hunk and Pidge were beginning to theorize a way for Lance to get his sight back. Allura added in some help where she could. Keith and Shiro remained silent, listening to ideas being tossed around.

Keith glanced around the table. Everyone still looked concerned, but Shiro looked almost pained. Eyes downcast, shoulders slumped and hands clenched. Whatever Shiro was about to say wasn’t going to be something that none of the team wanted to hear.

“Guys, I think we should be looking at the bigger picture here.”

Everyone stopped to look at him.

Shiro looked up from his hands and spoke deliberately. “I know we all want to help Lance, but…without his eyes, Lance won’t be able to pilot the blue lion anymore. As many of the possibilities there are to try and fix his sight, maybe our best course of action is to find a new paladin.”

Keith slammed a hand on the table, anger flaring. “Lance is still a part of this team! We don’t even know if he’s not able to pilot Blue!”

Finding a replacement to Lance was unthinkable. Lance had done so much for them ever since they were thrust into this situation. He saved Coran, he was a voice of reason when the time called for it, he lightened the mood with a stupid joke just to get them all to laugh a little. He kept this team together.

Everyone was shocked by his sudden outburst and Keith took advantage of the silence.

“We can still see what he’s able to do!” He was nearly shouting, there was no way that he was going to let this team fall apart, not his new family. “Don’t throw him away just because something bad happened and the situation changed.”

Shiro stared at Keith, shocked. To be honest, this was the first time that Keith had spoken to Shiro in such a way. He wasn’t there at the Garrison when Keith self-destructed and got kicked out. He’s only seen a glimpse of the way Keith can get since his return, and now he just got the whole picture. Keith wouldn’t let another person get taken away from him, he fought too hard find others that would accept him. Despite that they were all here by some twist of fate, Keith felt like he belonged finally. Even with all the bickering and arguing he did with Lance, he felt welcome amongst him and the rest of them. What Shiro just suggested…it sounded like he didn’t care that they were a family now. And for what it’s worth, Keith wasn’t going let it fall apart now.

The silence stretched between everyone. Keith's anger was palpable, everyone was looking at him and Shiro.

“I can still fight.”

Every jumped and turned to the doorway. Lance was leaning heavily on the entrance, legs shaky, and he was sweating slightly.

“Lance, you–” Shiro started, but Lance interrupted.

“I can still fight, Shiro.”

Keith openly stared at the blue paladin. Lance looked so determined, so sure about what he was saying.

“Lance…” His name slipped out of Keith, and there was no way he could have stopped the awe out of his voice.

Lance tilted his head in Keith’s direction, a small grin breaking out across his face.

“You can’t get rid of me that easy guys,” Lance said as he crossed his arms. He went to lean against the door with his shoulder, trying to look cool but stumbled slightly. “I mean, where would all of you be without your most handsome and best pilot?”

Hunk launched himself from his seat to crush Lance in what has to be the biggest hug ever. Lance laughed and wheezed slightly, but looked like he was enjoying himself despite the severity of the situation. Keith glanced back at Shiro and was surprised to see a smile on his face. Allura too. They both looked exhausted but relieved that Lance still seemed to act himself.

He turned back to Lance and Hunk, who were joined by Pidge. She was patting Lance on the back as he fumbled to ruffle her hair. If it weren't for the lack of blue eyes flashing between the group, you would think that nothing was out of place. Keith sighed and smiled fondly at the trio. Hunk and Pidge had been Lance's support system at the Garrison, and Keith could see how close they were. They would be the first each would go to in difficult times. And in this difficult time, Lance was still smiling and trying to reassure them and keep everyone from falling to pieces.

If Lance could manage to remain positive, then Keith supposed he could see the light at the end of the tunnel as well.

* * *

_Part 3 of the[comic](http://koshkavinni.tumblr.com/post/155393741516/since-yall-seem-to-really-enjoy-this-au-here-is)._


	4. Nowhere to run from this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this was a little all over the place, so sorry for that. Hope you guys enjoy~

_“You can’t get rid of me that easy guys,” Lance said as he crossed his arms._

After Hunk and Pidge (mostly Hunk) calmed down, everyone sat down again to eat. Lance didn't eat much but was enough to keep everyone off his back. Keith kept an eye on him, he could see how uncomfortable he was with trying to use the spork, but somehow he was managing. Everyone stayed away from the topic of him piloting the blue lion, tiptoeing around the topic like it was suddenly a taboo. Lance acted like he didn't notice, but when no one was talking to him Keith saw something sad cross his face.

Eventually, they all parted their ways. Hunk led Lance back to his room. Lance joked about Hunk being the best boyfriend ever as he took the big guy's elbow. Hunk laughed pretty hard at that, wiping away a tear as the exited the room. The pull that Keith felt on his heart hurt. It was slight, but it was just Lance joking around like normal. There was no reason to get upset about that. He looked down at his food and tried to reason out his emotions. He was being unreasonable by even thinking about being jealous of Hunk. Keith took a deep breath and calmed himself, letting it out slowly. Focus on the team, make sure they stay together.

Despite all that, Keith lost his appetite. He cleaned his plate of goo and put it away before making for the training deck. His nerves were still pretty shot from the last couple of days and mindlessly cutting down drones sounded like a really good idea right now.

* * *

 

It took hours of striking down drone after drone on the training deck for Keith to finally feel normal – well closer to normal. While he was training, he was able to forget that they had a mission go bad, that they had almost lost a team member, he almost lost a friend, that Lance was blind now. It was a few hours of hard earned ignorance, and by now the whole castle was asleep. But now that Keith stood under the showerhead, washing off his training session that everything came crashing back down.

He slammed a fist against the wall. Why did it feel like it was his fault? Was it because he had been the closest one to Lance at the time? The whole situation had been chaos…lasers everywhere, drone parts littering the whole corridor. It had been a nightmare.

Keith lowered his head under the water, letting it run down his back. He glared two holes into the ground. He should have provided more cover for Lance, he had been stuck behind that truss long enough that the Galra could have targeted his spot. He should have seen that coming, he should have done something to get Lance out of there.

Now Lance was blind.

And it was his fault for not looking out for him.

He wasn’t going to let another thing like this happen again. Keith swore that he would do whatever he could do to help Lance. He couldn’t let him go through this alone.

Keith turned off the shower and wrung out his hair. He still felt like he couldn’t sleep, but he was used to a sleepless night here and there. As soon as he was dressed and his hair was mostly dry, Keith set to wandering the halls of the castle. It was his way of winding down, and after all that’s happened, he was surprised that he hasn’t done this yet. He let his mind wander, just like his feet. He didn’t want to come off to Lance like he was trying to baby him, but there had to be someway Lance could still pilot Blue. Even if he had told Shiro that Lance wouldn’t – couldn’t be replaced, Keith still hadn’t thought of a way for Lance to still be a paladin. All he had was his bond with the blue lion, who chose him for a reason, much like the rest of the lions chose him, Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro. But was Lance’s bond with the blue lion enough to still pilot her?

He turned a corner and came to a stop. Normally the observation deck was the darkest place on the ship, simply because it was open to everything around them. But now it was glowing and the star map was activated. Keith frowned. No one on the ship stayed up this late, even Pidge who he would find in some strange places sometimes. He let his feet carry him into the room.

The map was set on the milky way, Earth pinpointed with a marker, coordinates listed. A small pang of homesickness from just seeing their home planet there. He didn’t have anyone to return to, but he missed being able to travel through the desert on his speeder and just enjoy the wind on his face, and the rush he got from pushing his limits.

“What are you still doing up, Keith?”

Keith flinched slightly. He hadn’t seen Lance sitting on the edge of raised platform in the middle of the room. What was he doing up?

“How’d you know it was me?” he asked as he sat down next to Lance.

Lance shrugged his shoulders. “Dunno, it was more of a guess really.”

Keith didn’t say anything and pulled a leg up, resting his chin on his knee.

They were quiet for a while. Lance was leaning back on his hands, head tilted up like he was actually looking at the stars.

“Thanks for sticking up for me earlier, Keith…”

Keith glanced at him from out of the corner of his eye. “That was nothing. You would do the same for the rest of us.”

Lance smiled a bit at that. “Yeah, I probably would, wouldn’t I?”

Keith smirked and looked back out the stars. “There’s no doubt about it. You did throw yourself in front of a bomb for Coran.”

“As much as I love Coran, I’m not doing that again. That hurt.”

Both of them chuckled at that.

"Are you doing okay? You know-" Lance cut Keith off with a sure voice.

“Keith, I’m fine.”

The red paladin picked up his head and looked over at Lance.

“I’m still going to pilot Blue.”

Keith felt his eyes widen. Lance’s face was determined.

“I am still the Blue Paladin. That’s not going to change.”

It was in that moment Keith saw a glimpse of the old Lance. He could see the spark of confidence, the determination to save the universe. He could hear it in his voice, see it in the set of his shoulders. Lance looked like the Lance for the first time.

Keith smiled softly, glad that Lance was still striving to be himself during this.

“It’s good to have you back, Lance.”

Lance deflated. “I’m not even back yet…I’m still going to pilot Blue, but I have no _how_. I can’t see anymore, I only made it here because I have it memorized. But flying Blue around in space where there’s everything and anything? Fighting the Galra? Flying with you guys? Forming Voltron is going to be a disaster!”

He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. His hands were clenched into fists, trying to stop them from shaking, but Keith could still the small tremors. He reached out and covered one of them.

“You still have time to figure it out, Lance. Blue isn’t going anywhere. She’s still your lion.” He meant what he said in the dining hall earlier, Lance wasn’t going to be replaced.

The blue paladin leaned into to Keith. “I’m scared…I have no idea how this is going to work…”

Keith pulled him into a hug and Lance buried his face into his shoulder. “It’s going to be ok, we can figure it out – you can figure it out. Believe in yourself, Lance.”

Lance didn’t say anything, just nodding.

It was going to take some time for everyone to adjust to this, most of all Lance.

* * *

_Part 4 of the[comic](http://koshkavinni.tumblr.com/post/155931053086/guess-whos-back-with-another-panel-one-day-i)._


	5. I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter from Lance's POV.
> 
> Sorry for the longer than normal wait for this fic guys!! Real life happened, and then a bunch of other things came with it. I hope to have this back on a regular cycle soon!

_It was going to take some time for everyone to adjust to this, most of all Lance._

It took a few days for everyone to get used to the idea that Lance was now blind. Everyone treated him like glass, leading him around the castle since he didn't have the whole place memorized. Lance handled it all pretty well, cracking jokes, and making everyone laugh. If it weren't for the fact that his eyes were closed, no one could tell the difference. But it was when Lance thought he was by himself that everyone caught the glimpse of the broken boy underneath. No one said anything, though, they all wanted to keep it from Lance that they knew he was struggling.

Lance took to keeping to himself in between team meetings, and disappearing completely when they were supposed to be training. None of them could find him during those times, not even Keith, who had been unanimously declared to be the one to get Lance for meals and meetings. Keith figured if Lance didn’t want to be found, he wouldn’t be. He had kept up for nearly a week now, and Lance only came out when he wanted to.

In truth, Lance was actually seeking the company of his lion. Blue was a comforting presence, safe and warm compared to the clinical cold of the castle. He thought it was strange that no one thought to try and find him in his lion's hangar, but he wasn't going to be the one to bring it up. He enjoyed the soft purring Blue did when she greeted him or sensed that he was struggling with being blind again.

He never realized how much he relied on his sight for everything. He couldn’t even train with his teammates because of the sensory loss. He couldn't stand the thought of the mind melding exercises and have everyone see how insecure he had become. It was one thing when he had been able to see, but now it was so much worse. Sure, he told Keith that he was still going to be the Blue Paladin, and he was, but he had no idea _how_. Everything they did relied on sight. To shoot his bayard, to fly Blue, to fight the Galra, everything. Hell, he couldn’t even see the star map anymore to check on Earth.

That’s what hurt the worst.

Even if they somehow defeated Zarkon, liberated the rest of the universe, and made it back to Earth, he wouldn’t be able to see his family again. And he would be reliant on them too. For everything, just like he is now with team Voltron. Lance hated it. He hated being led around like a child. But he couldn’t tell the team that. He could imagine the way their faces would fall, and he knew that they were trying to help, but was it necessary to hold his hand the whole way? The only one who seemed to get it was Keith. Keith would gently nudge Lance in the right direction, catch him if he stumbled, but never explicitly led him around. Guess that one late night talk made some sense to the Red Paladin because for some reason he seemed to understand Lance.

Now that he thought about it, in between the arguing, the bickering, and the battles, Keith always seemed to get Lance. Not just because Lance was being obvious (most cases he wasn’t, especially regarding his own feelings about himself), but more that he seemed to get why Lance was being the way he was. Lance would lash out sometimes, and Keith would take it, dish it back, but get Lance to focus on something else other than himself and their teammates. There were even those rare moments where Keith would complement Lance on his skills, commenting on a shot he made, or how the strategy he suggested would actually work if they did this and this. Keith had made it clear that he would be there for Lance without exactly being clear about it. Keith never asked him how he was feeling or anything like that, Keith treated Lance like normal – well, close to it. The bickering was minimal and Keith overall was softer, but it wasn't like the others. Lance had no real way to explain it other than maybe Keith liked him. And that was a crazy idea, to begin with. Keith was his rival, and yeah they had their bonding moments. It was never more than that. Just bonding moments. That was it…was it?

Lance shook his head, not wanting to think about that. They were a team and he and Keith were just incompatible as anything else but teammates.

He screwed his face into a frown, racking his brain for anything that could get him back in the game. The team couldn’t form Voltron without him. There just _had_ to be something – oh.

It was time to visit Blue, maybe they could figure something out.

Lance followed the presence of his lion and walked into the hangar. He only had the beginning of an idea formed, but maybe, just maybe this could work.

Blue welcomed him with a low rumble and a warm embrace down in the core of his being. She was there to help, to support him.

“Blue?” He wanted to be closer to her, this had to work.

She purred at him, telling him she was there for him. He smiled up at her.

“I wish I could see you, beautiful, I bet you’re as pretty as ever.” Lance always talked to her like this, she loved it. It made her feel important and she always returned the favor when he was unneeded and unwanted. Like now.

“You still believe in me right? I’m still your paladin?” She had to accept him, and he had to accept her for this to work. And Lance wanted this to work so badly.

Blue kept purring, her reassurance filling him up to the brim. He was so lucky to have her, to be her paladin.

“Can you open up for me? I wanna try something.”

Lance heard her move around before he felt the gust of air that came with a dull thud before everything was silence again. Blue guided him forward, telling him that he just needed to walk ahead till he was making his way up the ramp and into the cockpit.

He stumbled slightly, his memory of how everything was laid out inside his lion was fuzzy at best. It hadn’t been something that he had taken the care to notice, and now it was painfully obvious. Soon enough, he found himself settled into the pilot seat. He curled up, wrapping his long arms around his knees.

“I’m glad you still believe in me, Blue…it’s been really hard to get used to all of this.”

Lance was sure Blue could see how he was struggling to sleep sometimes, how he would wake up disorientated and fight the panic that came with not being able to see where he was. Everything was dark, nothing moved, he couldn’t see anything. He was blind. Lance came to the realization every day he woke up. All because of that stupid mission and that stray plasma bolt causing an explosion right in front of him.

If he hadn't been standing there, if they hadn't gone on that mission, none of this would have happened. None of it. He would still be able to see.

Lance sighed and leaned back into the pilot seat. He wanted – no, needed to be closer with Blue. He thought of Arus, and all the training exercises they did in order to grow closer as a team and bond with their lions more. The flight exercise reminded him of the way Shiro was able to see through the Black Lion.

“Hey Blue, I want to try the bonding exercise with you again, like back on Arus. You remember that right?”

Blue rumbled, of course she did. She never forgot anything.

“You think we could try it, Blue. Let me see through your eyes?”

Everything was quiet. Lance concentrated on the bond between him and his lion, straining and giving it his all.

“Please, lend me your sight, Blue…”

The silence was deafening, just like the darkness was suffocating. He leaned forward, brow furrowed, trying in vain to connect with his lion.

It felt like hours passed and still nothing. He was desperate.

“Blue, please, I’m – I’m still your paladin. I need your help…please help me through this…”

He felt his eyes sting, they overflowed and tears streamed down his face. Frustration permeated him, he couldn’t connect with his lion, he couldn’t see, he was useless.

He wasn’t worthy of being her paladin anymore.

It felt like he was pounding on a particle barrier, trying to force his way in, to make the connection he needed.

Lance clutched at his head and sobbed. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t be a paladin without being able to see. His connection wasn’t strong enough to see through Blue.

He didn’t believe it ever would be.

“Lance?”

The Blue Paladin jumped, choking back the latest sob and hastily wiped at his face, hoping he didn’t look like he just got done crying his eyes out.

He heard Keith step up being the pilot seat. He could just imagine the way he was leaning around it, just like the first time they were all inside Blue’s cockpit.

“Mullet! What are you doing here?” His voice sounded a little strained, but Lance was a good enough actor that he should be able to get Keith to leave him alone awhile longer.

“I… I just came to check up on you. You’ve been gone awhile,” Keith answered. He was over Lance’s left shoulder.

Lance kept quiet. He wasn’t exactly sure how long he had been here, and when Keith decided it was a good time to finally come check his lion’s hangar, but he didn’t really feel like sharing how well the last few hours had gone.

“You know… I want you to know that I’m always here for you, Lance…”

Lance couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face. Okay, so maybe he and Keith could be more than _just_ teammates.

* * *

_Part 5 of the comic[here](http://koshkavinni.tumblr.com/post/156781246996/look-i-updated-again-and-2-in-one-part-one-part)._


	6. But we could change it if we stand up strong and take the lead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *completely ignores the last update time and posts this* hahha hey guys!! yes i havent forgotten about this and tbh, im procrastinating on other fics with this, sooooooo have some langst~

Alright, so the bonding time he had with Blue didn’t go that great. It was fine, it was the first time they tried it – well, second, but the first time was pretty much an emergency. They had to bond a little or else the Galra would have erased them from the universe.

So, yeah, bonding only happened for the sake of survival.

Keith led Lance out of the cockpit and walked beside him while they meandered throughout the castle. If Lance ignored the way Keith’s jacket shifted (he could hear it since it was the only leather thing on this ship), he could have almost passed the silence off as comfortable. Lately, the two of them have been spending more time together, but it wasn’t a major thing. Like, it wasn’t as if they were actively seeking each other out, it just happened. Mostly when Lance disappeared for too long and Keith came and found him, but after that when Keith knew he was okay, he stuck around. Lance was ready to call them friends in terms of their relationship instead of teammates. Which was a significant shift from teammate and rival.

Keith’s jacket squeaked a little for the umpteenth time and Lance swore it was as if Keith was turning to look at him, think about it, and then look away.

“Okay, what gives.”

He heard Keith stumble slightly before recovering. “Nothing.”

"Keith, you jacket makes a noise every time you turn to me, and it's happened like five times. It's obviously something." Lance nudged him in what he hoped was Keith's arm.

The red paladin grumbled something under his breath.

“Ya know, I may be blind, and my hearing is wonderful, but it’s not _that_ great. You gotta speak up, Keith.”

Keith sighed and pulled Lance to a stop with a hand on his elbow. Lance crossed his arms and faced Keith’s general direction.

“I’m over here, you idiot,” Keith muttered, gently turning him.

“Oh, thanks…”

His friend sighed again and shifted his feet, the soles rubbed against the floor. Lance waited.

After a moment, Keith spoke, “Why were you crying inside your lion?”

Lance sucked in a breath and looked away. He felt like his body was gearing up to cry again –  his chest suddenly hurt, his head pounded and his heart felt like it stopped for a moment.

“You don’t have to tell me everything, I was just… just curious.” Keith buried his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “Just making sure you’re doing okay. As a friend.”

Lance shoved his own hands into his pockets, wriggling his toes inside this shoes. “Yeah, I’m okay, was just trying to bond with Blue.”

“And it didn’t go well?”

Lance frowned and looked down, blinking back his tears. He tried to keep his eyes closed as much as possible, everyone's reactions were nearly the same when he opened them out of habit. They either flinched away or immediately switched to doting on him. He'd rather keep his eyes closed and hide as much of the damage as possible.

“Yeah… it didn’t.”

Keith shifted again. “I’m sure she will come around.”

Lance nodded and bit his lip. He desperately wanted Blue to bond with him, he just didn’t know how to reach that point. Not even Keith had reached that level with Red.

“That’s the hope.”

Keith patted his shoulder and nudged him into walking again, the same direction they were going before they stopped. “You could always talk to Shiro, he was able to get the Black Lion to bond with him enough so he could see through her.”

“Wait, how’d you know –”

Lance could almost hear Keith roll his eyes and smirk. “C’mon Lance, it’d be the most logical thing to do.”

“Haha, okay wise guy, you haven’t managed to perfect that skill either.”

Keith laughed. “I know. And that’s the reason why you should talk to Shiro, he has.”

Lance raised his eyebrows in awe; Keith the Garrison’s best fighter pilot after Shiro, mister perfection himself, admitted to not having done something.

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with Keith?”

“Uh, nothing? I’m still me.”

“Riiiight, I so totally believe you.”

Keith laughed again and bumped shoulders with Lance. He could feel the tension melt away as they joked around a little. It felt like Lance wasn’t even blind.

* * *

The next day, Lance was wandering around, looking for Shiro. He missed meal time, something that had become a habit lately. It was hard to sleep when everything was already dark. Lance's internal clock was knocked out of rhythm and now he has the hardest time figuring out when it was the day cycle or the night cycle. And by the time he did – mostly because of Hunk's snoring – it was already well into the wee hours of the morning. When he fell asleep, it was still fitful and full of tossing and turning before his mind exhausts itself and lets him fall into unconsciousness.

So here he was, searching for their oh-so-awesome leader and ask him how the heck he managed to bond with the Black Lion so well after slurping down a bowl of food goo.

“Dammit, Shiro, where are y-”

Lance bounced off a solid and quite warm wall before hands grabbed his shoulders to keep him from falling.

“You okay, Lance?” Shiro asked.

Well, speak of the devil and he shall appear.

Lance rubbed his nose gingerly, it was smarting a little after running into Shiro. The guy really needed to take a break, those muscles were like rocks.

“Yeah, I’m fine, was actually looking for you.”

Shiro chuckled and turned Lance around to walk in the direction that he was originally heading. He kept a light hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“Okay, what’s up?”

Lance gnawed on his bottom lip for a second before diving right in. “Do you remember when we were on Arus and we just got all the Lions together? Like, the training exercises that Coran put us through?”

He heard Shiro sigh. “All too well, but what about them? Does this have something to do with your sight?”

“Yeah. Remember that one flight exercise we did where we had to see _through_ our lions?”

“You mean the one where you and Keith raced to see who could hit that ground fastest?”

Lance scowled and flopped his hand around. “Okay, that was not _the point_ , but if that’s the way you remember it, sure, that one.”

The older paladin laughed and patted Lance’s shoulder. “Meant nothing by it, but yes, I do remember.”

They turned a corner, Shiro gently guiding Lance along as they walked to wherever Shiro was going. From the way their steps echoed around them, they had to be close to the control room or the giant ballroom where they hosted the Arusians. Something told Lance it was the control room.

“Okay, so, how did you figure it you?” Lance asked, turning his head towards Shiro. “I’ve been trying to figure it out but it’s not working.”

He felt Shiro’s fingers tighten slightly. It was no secret to him that Shiro wasn’t exactly all for the idea of Lance still piloting the Blue Lion, but what choice did they have? Lance was still alive and Blue had roared oppressively when Shiro suggested that they find a new paladin. Blue was even averse to letting Allura pilot her, and that was saying something.

Shiro took a deep breath. “I trusted my lion to guide me.”

Lance’s jaw dropped. “That’s it?”

Through the hand on his shoulder, Lance felt Shiro shrug. “That’s it. We know the Blue Lion and you are both very trusting, it’s your natures. But I trust everything to my lion, she will get me out of situations in ways that I won’t think of.”

“But I do trust Blue!”

“I know you do, Lance. We all trust our lions, but it’s whether or not you trust her _enough_ to see through her.”

Lance ducked his head and chewed on his lip more. Of course he trusted Blue, she was constant just like Hunk has been throughout his whole life. She comforted him when he couldn’t go to anyone else. She cared. She loved him. And he felt that same way towards her. He wouldn’t trade his lion for the world, not even being top of the class at the Garrison to lord it over Keith. He was proud to be the Blue Paladin of Voltron, he was proud to pilot the Blue Lion, and she was proud to have him. They worked, they clicked in ways that Lance never thought he would click with anyone or anything.

Shiro squeezed his shoulder. “Give it another shot, but Lance…”

He shrugged Shiro's hand off. Guess that hasn't changed. "I'm not giving up, Shiro. I’m going to pilot the Blue Lion.”

Lance spun on his heel and walked away from Voltron’s head, hand trailing along the wall to guide him. He was going to get this. Blue rumbled reassuringly in the back of his mind, guiding him to her. Looked like it was going to be another day spent in her hangar.

* * *

Hours passed and nothing. Absolutely nothing. Blue was there and not there at the same time and Lance hadn't felt this frustrated since struggling to become a fighter pilot – something he never really achieved but surpassed by becoming a paladin.

He thrust the controls away from him and pounded his fists on the armrests of his seat.

“Come on, Blue! Help me out here, what am I doing wrong?” he asked to the air. “Why can’t we get this!?”

His lion purred sympathetically, wrapping around him like a comfort blanket. He was so close to breaking down again. He’s missed the team training again, and lunch, and a meeting that Allura wanted to hold. Lance had ignored the call in favor of figuring out this damned ability with his lion. A fat lot of good that did. 

He slumped in his seat and let out a rush of air. The inky black that surrounded him was oppressive, a constant reminder that he would amount to nothing. Not a fighter pilot, and now not even a paladin of Voltron. If he couldn’t figure this out, there was no point in keeping him here on the team. He couldn’t help Coran fix that ship, he couldn’t pilot the ship either since it was a job for Allura. He couldn’t fight. He couldn’t analyze data. He couldn’t even cook.

So what good was he?

Lance ran a hand down his face. The darkness crowded closer and if it was even possible, it felt thicker.

Yeah, he wasn’t worth much. Just a hindrance now.

Blue growled at him and pushed against his mind. She shoved images in his head: him making the team laugh, him consoling Hunk when things got too much, him helping Pidge as best as he can with her tech, him saving Coran, and finally, him shooting down all those Galra on the mission that cost him his sight. Each shot saving Keith and Pidge.

_You are valuable_ she was trying to tell him.

Tears pricked his eyes and he stifled a small hiccup. “Thanks, Blue.”

She rumbled again, sounding so much like his mother scolding him for not believing in himself.

But once the feelings started, they were hard to stop. The darkness he was surrounded him felt wet, as much as Blue could tell him that he was needed and wanted as much as she wanted, he still couldn’t fight the feeling of being overlooked and shoved aside because he wasn’t useful.

Shiro’s words echoed in his head. _Trust your lion._

He slid further down the chair, slouching heavily. “I don’t get it, Blue. I trust you, I trust you with my life and then some. I know you wouldn’t have chosen me if there wasn't something you saw in me. But I still don't get it."

He heard the hangar door swish open – the one leading outside, to the inky blackness filled with stars and planets and asteroids.

“Blue?” Panic shot through him and he grabbed at the controls. “Blue, you can’t – I can't! I can't see anymore, what if – what if we run into something!"

Blue growled, sounding like she was rolling her eyes and launched herself out of the castle.

“BLUE!” Lance screamed, pulling at the controls to pull her to a stop.

She kept going. His lion revved up her engines and the g-forces forced him into his seat. Lance grit his teeth and gripped the controls harder, pulling them back so much that he nearly touched the armrests of his chair.

What felt like light-years later, Blue finally stopped and Lance found his breath. He leaned forward over his knees and heaved air in and out of his lungs.

“Blue, where are we?”

His dashboard pinged and he knew coordinates were displayed. He groaned and sat up, tossing his head back. Since he was alone, he blinked his eyes open. His sight still revealed nothing, it wasn’t even a shade lighter with his eyes open.

Blue rumbled, telling him to lower his head and face forward. She was being extra bossy today, something she had to have picked up from Red over the last ten thousand years. Lance closed his eyes again, not like keeping them open was doing anything.

His lion growled, feeding him vague instructions just like the first time he flew her. _Slow your breathing, open your mind, and trust me._

If he was being honest, he was ecstatic that he was out of the castle for once, and flying Blue again was his dream but the situation had him on edge. Never had Blue done something on her own before – not like how the black and green lions protecting Shiro and Pidge from that Robeast crash landing on Arus, and definitely not like Red launching herself after Keith every time he ejected himself into space.

No, Blue and Yellow never acted out like the other lions. Then again, their paladins rarely got into serious trouble without anyone else there to help them.

The Blue Lion roared at him sharply, almost bark, and it forced Lance to focus his mind back on what she told him to do. He took multiple deep breaths, calming himself. It felt just like when had those mind-melding exercises and he found himself slipping into his meditative state. Blue purred approvingly. She knew her paladin was capable, he just needed to be pushed in the right direction sometimes.

Slowly, the farther and farther Lance fell into meditation, his mind opened. He welcomed Blue into his mind. She curled around him and spun his mind around, aligning it with hers.

_Open your eyes._

Lance opened his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scream at me on tumblr: [thespace-dragon](http://thespace-dragon.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> You can scream at me on tumblr: @thespace-dragon


End file.
